Working with Trauma

Duration: 5–20 minutes (modular)
Level: Intermediate (with professional support as needed)
Goal: Engage trauma-related material safely with grounding, titration, and compassion—without bypassing or re-traumatization

Safety First

This page is trauma-informed guidance—not therapy. It complements, not replaces, professional care.

  • If you experience suicidal ideation, dissociation, panic, or flashbacks, stop and contact a licensed clinician or crisis service.
  • Pair this practice with therapy modalities like EMDR, IFS, somatic therapies (SE, SP), or trauma-focused CBT when indicated.
  • Proceed gently. Less is more. Your system sets the pace.

The aim is not to relive trauma but to relate to it differently—safely, in manageable doses—while resting as the Listener.

Core Principles (Trauma-Informed)

  • Window of Tolerance: Stay within a range where you can feel and remain present. If you move toward hyperarousal (panic/overwhelm) or hypoarousal (numb/collapsed), shift to grounding.
  • Titration: Touch difficult material in tiny amounts; then return to safety. Repeat gradually.
  • Pendulation: Gently move attention between activation (difficult sensation) and resource (safety/neutrality) to build capacity.
  • Resourcing: Strengthen safety anchors first (body, environment, trusted people, imagery) before approaching traumatic content.
  • Choice and Consent: You are in charge. You can pause, stop, or switch to resource at any moment.

The Practice

Build in this order. Do not skip steps.

1) Resource and Ground (2–5 minutes)

  • Orient: Look around the room. Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear.
  • Anchor: Feel feet on floor, sit-bones on chair, breath in belly.
  • Stabilize: Place a hand on heart/belly. Lengthen the exhale slightly.
  • Choose a resource: Memory of a safe place or caring figure; or a present-time neutral sensation (texture, warmth) you can return to.

Only proceed if you feel at least somewhat steady and present.

2) Establish the Witness (1–2 minutes)

  • Silently ask: “Am I that voice… or the one listening?”
  • Name the present state without judgment: “Tension is here.” “Numbness is here.” “Anxiety is here.”
  • Keep connection to your resource while witnessing.

3) Micro-Titration with Pendulation (2–8 minutes)

  • Touch: Bring 5–10% attention to a manageable edge of the difficult sensation (not the story). Where is it in the body? Quality (tight, hot, buzzing)?
  • Step back: Return to the resource for 20–30 seconds. Feel safety/neutrality.
  • Repeat: Touch (briefly) → Resource → Touch → Resource. Let the system unwind at its pace.
  • Name what changes: “The tightness softened from 8/10 to 6/10.” “Buzzing moved from chest to throat.”

If intensity spikes, stop touching and remain with resource until settled.

4) Boundaries and Containment (as needed)

  • Container: Imagine placing the material into a sealed, safe container you can revisit with a therapist.
  • Time-box: Set a timer (e.g., 2 minutes) for touching the edge, then switch back to resource.
  • Distance: Visualize the memory/image farther away (e.g., across the room, behind glass).

5) Closure and Downshift (2–5 minutes)

  • Shake out arms/legs; stretch; sip water.
  • Re-orient to the room; name colors/textures; step outside if helpful.
  • End with gratitude toward the part of you that protects you: “Thank you for trying to keep me safe. You can rest now.”

What You’re Training

Neurologically

  • Increasing vagal tone and parasympathetic regulation via grounding and exhale-lengthening
  • Building prefrontal–limbic integration by toggling attention (pendulation)
  • Reducing DMN fusion with trauma narratives by keeping attention in somatic present-time experience

Philosophically

  • Honoring the wound without becoming the wound (Listener holds, Voice narrates)
  • Compassionate relationship with protective parts (“the dragon”) rather than war
  • Re-claiming sovereignty through choice, pacing, and consent

Common Experiences

  • “I can only feel numbness.”
    Stay with neutral sensation (contact points, temperature). Numbness is an experience; witness it gently.
  • “It gets overwhelming fast.”
    Reduce dose: Shorter touches, longer resourcing. Consider practicing only steps 1–2 for a while.
  • “Memories intrude when I try to sleep.”
    Use containment imagery before bed; place material in a safe container with a plan to revisit in therapy.
  • “I feel shame while practicing.”
    Name it; bring compassion to the part that learned shame as protection. Return to resource.

Integration

Red Flags: Pause and Seek Support

  • Frequent dissociation (time loss, derealization, depersonalization)
  • Panic attacks that do not settle with grounding
  • Self-harm urges or suicidal ideation
  • Flashbacks you cannot contain

If any appear, stop formal work and contact a trauma-informed clinician. Safety first.

Next Steps

  • Consider working with a therapist trained in EMDR, IFS, Somatic Experiencing, or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
  • Read more about the neurobiology of trauma (forthcoming neuroscience page).
  • Continue strengthening the core inquiry: “Am I this story, or the awareness holding it?”

Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes. It is not medical advice and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment.